So there has been much grief and much crying... But I think I am on the up side of down finally. I mean don't get me wrong by saying what I am about to say, but I don't think about it nearly as much as I used to. After only 2 weeks, I feel much better than I thought I would at this point. I know that time heals all things (with a lot of help from the good Lord!) but I didn't think I would be this okay this soon. I mean I miss my little Peanut every day and I don't think that will ever change, but it certainly has gotten easier. Now it's not like someone has shoved a knife through my heart. It's more like a tiny little ache. Just about everyday I hear a song that reminds me of what I have been through or that makes me think of my Peanut, but it doesn't usually make me cry like it did 2 weeks ago. Now I don't feel so great that I can see going to any baby showers in my near future, but it sure feels good not to cry every day. I don't know how women go through multiple miscarriages and still find the strength to keep trying! I think if I had one more I'd call it quits. But hopefully there will be a healthy, happy baby in our somewhat near future (and hopefully not one that weighs almost 10 lbs. Lol!). Only God knows what He has in store for us, but I pray that he will bless us with one more child. I just still feel like there is one more person missing in our family!
Good night Peanut! Mommy loves you! :)
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